Not feeling attractive at all

fuck this shit why can't he just want to have sex?

Thanksgiving Day

So I slept through Thanksgiving dinner cause I had to work tonight! Damn that sucks couldn't even talk to the boys. Anyways worked from 7:30 pm - 12:30 am and then I have to go back to work at 11:15 am in the morning. Work was O.K. but hopefully tomorrow is a little busier. I like it when it's busy cause the day goes by faster. I hate just feeling like I'm standing around doing nothing all day.

It also sucked cause Joe slept ALL day! Nothing unusual. No time for me! I don't know sometimes. :(

November 19, 2012 ~ DAY OFF

Well today is my day off so I think I'm just gonna sit and blog all day.
I'll be editing and updating all day. So stay tuned!

Don't know if I want to blog today cause I want to write about something I don't think that I should. That is going on in my relationship. I'm scared that this thing might be the end of us! Damn life just likes to throw curve balls at you and it really sucks ass. 

I guess this is just part of life. I just don't feel like dealing with it. This is the point in time where I just want to crawl under a rock and just let the issue pass but by me not dealing with it I get to anxious real fast.


JUST DEAL CASSANDRA!

:/

Not feeling good right now and not talking about physically. Can't say what's going on cause I can't blast someone else's business on here but I'm upset and worried. Things could really go bad if I don't except someone else's decision. But I think I have to protect myself and my sobriety. Don't think that this is a good stepping stone in my relationship. 

Made freaking awesome hamburger last night...

enough
Hamburger
to make one hamburger. 
Seasoned and hand mixed in:
Celery Salt
Lemon Pepper
Fresh Chopped Garlic
Fresh Chopped Onions
&
Shredded Colby Jack
Then made the patty
put another layer of Cheese on top

Made a shredded Salad to put on top:
Shredded Green Salad
Horseradish Sauce
Ketchup

Then on the bun!

So an update on work

So this is what happened...

I looked at a print out of my schedule and CURRENT WEEK was in bold, right? LOOK!:

but it was the wrong DATES. It was last weeks schedule...LOL... really not funny cause  now I'm getting written up! I'm one of the top 5 cashiers and this is not good cause I'm trying to get promoted! Damn it I got to really pay attention before I loose my JOB. I love my job but this anxiety is really messing with my brain function. I guess I just live learn and make sure that I don't do that again! I had just got sent home early the day before for dropping a 15 lb. frozen turkey on my left middle finger. Stupid that I got sent home and had to fill out an accident report. Oh well I'm just going to work harder at being more responsible and careful at work. Lesson learned.

Cassandra's Best Dip Ever

Cassandra's Best Dip Ever

I used:
French Onion Dip
mixed with:
Chunky Salsa
&
Chopped Pickled Jalepanos

November 18, 2012 (continued)

After Work:

It's like 8:30 pm and I wanted to go out and kick it with Joey so bad but it was just to cold out there.

This is my New York Weather Experince Post...LOL

Let me tell all you from back home in California. I'm freezing my butt off! Literally dudes! My ~beeping beep! It's just too dang cold here in New York. I'm hoping to get used to and learn how to dress for the weather. 

Thank goodness for that scoodie I made! I'm going to start making them for everyone for Christmas presents they are so AWESOME! Look at the picture from this morning's posts. 

Did you know if you've ever broke any bones, like I have, and then live in the cold; You'll understand what I'm talking about. If my feet get cold they start hurting so bad that I can hardly walk on them. I've broken the tops of my feet where my pinky toe is on both feet. 

Well He came back in because it's to cold out there. That's funny. I thought the same thing. So I get to kick it with him anyways. YEAH! So we are sitting watching some movies and having some munchies together. We are watching "The Wizard of Oz" and then going to watch "The Big Kahuna".I've never seen either or can remember seeing either of them. You know I was drunk for a few years straight there! Thank God I'm not like that anymore. Sober, anxious and happy...lol. More about all that in another blog.

10:08 pm ~ 

Working on my purse

November 18, 2012

I'm going to write also about my daily life so here's what's going on today....

The only thing that I've got planned today is going to work. I got to work from 10:30 am - 6:00 pm. Work has been getting boring to me and that sucks with someone like me that has ADD but I know I just have to stick with it to support myself! 

I got a little bit of anxiety this morning which I've been battling with my whole life. Thinking about getting on some different medication for it cause the ones I'm taking now aren't working very well. I've got to get a hold of a doctor! 

Anyways for my anxiety I've been crocheting a lot and it really helps. Plus I can't stay still for two seconds and it helps to keep my hands busy! Here, I'll put a picture of what all I made so far...

A SCOODIE - it's a scarf with a hood

I've also made a beanie for myself, a hat for Joe's (my boyfriend) grandma, and I'm currently working on a purse. 

Well I got to leave to go to work in an hour so I better get ready.

PEACE OUT!

A Little About Myself

I really don't know where to start. I was born in Oklahoma. My parents and me moved to California where I lived with them up until I was 7 years old. I was taken from them and put in a few different foster homes for about a year. I was put with a black man and a white women who adopted me. I started using drugs at about 15-16 years old and smoking cigs. I got married to my first husband at 18 and had two kids with him. Got married again 5 years later to my second husband, that marriage was never made legal. Then for the third time and 3 more kids later to my ex-husband. Now I'm living in New York with no husband and no children. 

I work take care of myself and am staying clean and sober.

I know that's a little paragraph of my life but it goes in so much more detail! Hopefully you all don't get lost!

For the first couple of post I'm just gonna tell everyone a little about ME. Just so you can get to know who I am. This is gonna be a blog about my life. I'll write a few times a day sometimes and some days I won't.....

I am an ADDICT
I am a MOM

...and this is my story; The PAST, The PRESENT and what I hope the future will be.

I'm sorry if at first this seems to be all over the place. Sometimes it is hard for my brain to get things together but I'm hoping by blogging that I will better find myself and what I want in life!

Thanx to whoever decides to follow this blog. Feedback will be appreciated

~Cassandra

This is me having to think about where and what I want to start with!